Quote :)

Random Rants

No one has the right to judge you,They might have heard your stories,Seen your tears, But they have not been through what you have been through.

No Reason...

It is difficult to explain things pertaining to the heart. Difficult to provide reasoning for every thought and every action. Difficult to explain why I end up trusting the wrong people again and again despite been let down a thousand times or why I start things which are meant to end. I have been treading on a path of self discovery and I realized that all my battles are internal. With myself, my own heart. My heart and mid are sworn enemies which try to cease each other's existence. My mind doesn't want to dream, doesn't want to explore, It wants to live in the harsh reality. Want to stop expecting and start accepting things. My heart doesn't allow me to do so. It wants to dream, chase the rainbow, aim for the sky, meet new people.
The constant battle between my head and heart brings a rage of emotions in me which finds its way through my eyes. And I have no reason for it...

Too less, too much~

Hello followers :D
Its been a while since I've written a post, I went into the poet mode of mine and penned down more than 30 poems in a week :p and then I had my exams :/ Which went pretty well! Iwont say anything before the results though :p

Ialso went on a holiday to Chennai,Pondicherry. Was amazed at it's scenic beauty and peaceful nature! Looking forward to another trip soon :D

Will be back with a post soon. Till then keep smiling :D

Nupur

Move on

There is a silver lining in every cloud,

New opportunity in every dawn.

I gather myself and walk with faith,

Don't pull me back as I try to move on.

Walk away

Walk away if you want to go,
The pain will cease as time passes by.
Don't worry about my broken heart,
I have been hurt a thousand times.

To my sister...

                               

To my sister

My little sister screams in delight,
as 15 candles adorn her cake.
Between the celebration I pulled her aside,
And said listen to me for your sake.

This is something I never told you,
It is a part of me which is unseen.
I too had fallen in love once,
It happened when I was fifteen.

Years ago I too fell in love,
A love so passionate and intense.
And even today, years later,
The only emotion I feel is repentance.

Behind my back he was someone else,
Different individual on my face.
Even as the years roll by,
nothing fills the empty space.

I did everything to make it last,
I fell on my feet.
After being a subject to his sheer disregard,
I finally accepted my defeat.

He tore me, ripped me, broke me down
into a  million pieces.
No matter how much I try to forget,
The pain never ceases.

So fall in love, but at the right time.
This age is too tender to bear pain.
Cause once you completely surrender to love,
You lose a part of yourself you will never regain.

-Nupur

(Strictly fictional)

Random rants

In a battle between you head and heart,
Listen to the heart, its always true.
The head lies to you :)

Only hope

As sheaths of snow,

Cover the dead trees in Winter.

I see a Rose blossoming in December.

Chained by thoughs

The flame of hope flickers,

And darkness sets in.

My thoughts chained by lashes of reality,

Long to be broken.

Unfaithful

Drowned in the sea of emotions,
My soul lays unconcealed; bare.
Silence ceases my existence,
Remorse catches me in its snare.

To the world I was a modest individual,
Infused with naive positivity.
But few knew what lied in the eyes,
Behind my mask of honesty.

Fear leaps into my soul,
Guilt rips me apart.
I long for a new beginning,
I crave for a fresh new start.

I lie at the gravestone of my honesty,
I mourn craving for apology.
I was unfaithful to my world,
I was unfaithful to me.

-Nupur

She dreams..

She dreams as she scorns the voice of her mind,
She dreams with the eyes of her heart.
She dreams of a happy ending,
She dreams of a fresh new start.
She dreams of starting it from the scratch,
She dreams of getting back all the good memories spent.
She dreams despite knowing the fact,
That some stories lack a perfect end.

-NUPUR

Unbroken spirit

Looking into the rear view mirror,
scrutinizing every minute detail from my past.
A silvery tears drops from my eye,
As in retrospect I realize why things didn't last.

In my heart wrenching journey of retrospection,
as I dissect each delusion, each fault.
Worms of guilt eat my flesh and slit my heart,
as I tread on the path of emotional assault.

Memories dissolve into silent tears,
Lips whisper "I'm fine"
My feelings disillusioned and energy drained,
My thoughts refuse to align.

I gather myself and pace ahead,
as the former me vanquished in today's events awoken.
I walk forward with broken wings
But my spirit is unbroken.

-Nupur

Mid summer rain

Your presence is like mid-summer rain,

It relieves me out of anguish and pain.

Your concern makes my life worthwhile,

your words and deeds give me all the reasons to smile.

Your words are like dew drops on the rose,

with your feathery touch in a different world I'm transposed

-Nupur

Alone in a crowd

As the darkness engulfs the world,
and night narrates its sad story.
Grief inflicts this lamented soul,
and brings a rage of misery.

A silvery tear rolls down my cheek,
as I agonize who I was can no longer be.
Without a solitary instance of self discovery,
I feel like I am a hundred miles away from me.

Journey towards inwards is the longest they say,
and solitude is my sole companion.
In this heart wrenching journey to self discovery
I am confronted by none

Pangs of longing hassle me,
make me want to cry out loud.
I feel dejected by the seven billion on earth,
I feel alone in a crowd.

-Nupur

The best feelings in the world

It all fits in perfectly!

My radiators!

Its amusing how people miles away from you can make you feel much better than the people sitting right text to you. They can make you laugh like crazy on a phone call and make you smile by their one text. When you are upset, they make you forget all you worries and teach you how to appreciate life. They force you to believe that there will be sunshine after the darkest night. They are beaming with energy and act as your 'radiators'.

I have such friends too, who can make me smile on my worst days and their presence is like mid-summer rain.

Simran, Tanmaya and Simran
Whenever I feel the need to elope from the world where I'm forced to hear criticism and verbal assaults I cannot evade, they are just a phone call away. I can talk to them about anything and everything. From the new metro shoes I've picked up at sale to the new maths teacher at my school. Unique sense of comfort envelops me when I'm with them. I feel like I'm in my little own world where negativity has no place. They are always ready to listen and welcoming.

In the past I've shared some moments with them which are some of the most beautiful moments of my life. Walking to each others house directly from school, ringing the fire alarm, hiding the art teachers paint brushes :p,dancing on regional language songs or having parties and lunches on three consecutive days!  We have had it all!

Tanmaya is a girl who I look upto. Shes my friend, my mentor and also my inspiration. She has got a very strong conscience and can make out the fine line between right and wrong. She is a epitome of a perfect girl, and I must say she is getting prettier day by day :)

Simran Miglani is one of the most positive people I've come across. I bet she will even smile on her way to jail :p I can talk to her for days! and shes the one who has been updating me about stuff since I left Delhi. Her smile can kill millions and her laughter is infectious!

Simran Sharma is very different from the usual girls. She is peppy, fun loving and non judgmental.She is my partner in crime! She is an extremist and if you become her very good friend, in no condition she will let you down! Moreover, she is the one who listens to my jokes with great interest ;)

 So everytime someone says, "Girls cannot be best friends" I smile and say, "well, you never know!"

This is a part of the crazy stuff we did! :p

polaroids

Sitting in a circle by the campfire with friends in the month of December, singing songs and conversations punctuated by laughter and the fluttering of dragonfly wings.
Sound like a scene pulled out from a Bollywood flick, but these were the moments which I have myself experienced and can be defined as one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
Inevitably, my brain churns and looks out for more such moments which never fail to make me smile and are my 'mood-lifters'

Not long back, I got a call from one of my friends. I responded with a hello, but he went on. "If you don't come to your front door in ten seconds, there will be a bomb blast at your gate." Thinking it to be one of his another childish pranks, I ignored the call. Exactly ten seconds later, I heard the bell ring. My grandmother opened the door, but there was no one there. She continued to stand there for the next ten minutes. Soon my friend came out from his hiding, thinking my grandmother would have gone inside. But she had not, he got caught and got the scolding of his life :p I laughed for the next whole week.

Once while travelling in my car, I peeped outside the window and saw something that astonished me. A man was on a two wheeler with a woman holding on to him and three children that clung to the scooter like people on local trains. The fourth child was on the woman's lap, it seemed he would fall off the very next moment! My expected reaction was to say "Gosh! four kids!" But blame my luck, or my genetic problem of saying out things a bit too loud, that the person on the scooter heard it. "There's one more to come!" He grinned and the scooter zoomed away. *facepalm* I could feel my cheeks getting hot and red.

Here I give you an account of three incidents in my life which have broken life's monotony and given me priceless memories which will go in the mental cabinet where I store things worth remembering. This blog post has become a catalyst. A key to unlock so many memories which become my mood lifters.
At no point, life is perfect. If one thing gets into place, the other falls apart. So all one can do is preserve beautiful memories in the form of Polaroids in the brain and cherish them!

Best things in life are free :)

Just dropped by to say hello :)

Cannot be active as often as before now :( Commerce is damn tough! And Maths makes me weep! I try my best to write a short story/poem once in a while and will be posting things as soon as i get free. Meanwhile, I saw an amazing picture, and I had to share it wid you :D

Random rants

History indeed repeats itself. It's funny how we started from being strangers and ended up becoming the same.

The only difference is that time we couldn't talk often, and now dont want to talk that often

Im back

I have been away from my blog for sometime. Probably because I have been too tied up in studies and have not let the creative juices within me flow!
Its amusing how a single day, or week perhaps can change your view about so many things. It feels like the black cloth from your eyes has been removed at an instant and the world around you appears much more brighter, clearer.
Same thing has happened to me. I believe that we get life only once (ignore all those people and mythological tales which say seven) and one should make full use of it. When you love someone (not talking about the mushy romantic love here) love them with your full ability. Cross all limits.Don't blame or suspect new poeple in your lfe for the things old did to you. Only if you learn to love without fear, you get the true essence of life. Hug your parents more often, tell them you love them. I'm sure most of you don't remember the last time you said that!
Spend time with your grandparents and absorb knowledge from them. They don't have much time left either. Forgive a friend who has been demanding an apology since long, apologise to the people whom you have hurt. Life is too short to bear grudges and spend time with your loved ones. So what are you waiting for?

Love and laughter,
Nupur

Nature divine

The sunlight filters through the canopy of the lush green trees and hits the lake water with unparralleled ferocity.
Water droplets adorn the petals of the lavender lily like pearls which floats on the surface of the lake. Sounds blend to conceive a mellliflous euphony of the chirping of mainas, the sound of the wind and crushing of vagrant leaves. The sun fades and the colour of the sky changes, radiating orange glow which fills up the air.
Exquisite is the word which encapsulates my thoughts about the picturesque landscape painted infront of me.
God expresses his emotions by paiting on the beautiful canvas of nature, and so do I through words.

self-dicovery lesson

It’s difficult to configure and understand what kind of person I am. My feelings oscillate so frequently leaving me grief stricken at times. I feel I am treading on the path of self-discovery and solitude is my only companion in the heart wrenching journey to self-realization. After some heart breaking and hope draining experiences, now I am capable to distinguish the blurring line between right and wrong. I feel much stronger as a person today but my heart bleeds when my emotions swing and my heart and mind battle with each other to cease each other’s existence.  My gaze shifts to the glass of wine which is so delicate and finely built yet can hold a wine so strong, Capable of taking lives.

My situation is pretty similar, I am strong and weak at the same time. Strong enough to hold on to things, and so weak that can be shattered into pieces by a sudden blow.

you changed me, and then yourself

It seems like, I don't know you anymore. 

There must be tons of my mails in your inbox which you never replied and messages which you say never reached you. 

I realized you have changed. But only if I could make you realize how much you have changed me. What you make me feel about myself. How you have changed my perspective towards almost everything.We called each other best friends, and now we don't even talk. Is this how its supposed to be?

Power of faith

The darkness of the suffering that engulfs me,
Is darker than the shade of coal
Yet I stand untroubled by grief,
With my invincible soul.

I stumble as I attempt to stand,
My doubts are laced with fear.
But I gather my courage and make an attempt.
To life's principles I have to adhere.

Caught in the web of situations,
I didn't wine or cry out loud.
I tried to untangle every intricate knot,
and find my way out.

In this unconquerable situation,
my heart bleeds to death.
But my heart beats for the lord,
this is the power of faith.

Move on

That night is still imprinted distinctly in my head,
It makes me squirm and shiver in my bed.
A silvery tear rolls from my eye,
as my mind ponders over what you told was truth or lie.
The demarcation between your words and deeds leads me astray.
Never even in my distant thoughts I had thought you could betray.
And now I'm treading on the path of emotional assault,
my life it seems has come to a grinding halt.
I repent trusting you and believing the false promises you made,
Little did I know that with the passage of time meaning of words fade.
But I realise, that life isn't about mourning that's lost,
Its about making the best of what you have got.
People trample over your trust and change like seasons,
some walk out of you life without giving a proper reason.
So I'm glad about what I have and stopped mourning about what's gone,
So I get up, dust myself and move on.
 

Kiss of the Rain

The time is here. The time of the year which we Mumbaikars crave for subconsciously despite deliriously loving the Sun so much. It has been pouring whole night and I'm under my comforters. A gentle breeze stirs me awake and rain sprinkles on my face. My idea of a perfect morning before I'm beckoned my the irritating sound of my alarm clock. I have expressed my affinity towards rain in previous blog posts and now I'm reliving its magic :D

My extra classes have started and I'm already loving commerce! :D I'm surrounded by the people who love me and the negativity is out of my life. Life isn't perfect. But I'm happy. So Im moving ahead with a clear thinking and no speed breakers to block me on my journey.Again starting on my journey to self discovery! Enlighten the trip and jump in the wagon :D

Love and laughter
Nupur :)

I've had trust issues

It has been a year since I started my blog and have already penned down my thoughts and opinions in 111 posts! I have bared my heart and shared my deepest concerns with you all. My writing reflected the thoughts of an eccentric fifteen year old sometimes, and at times a teenager who is struggling to find her lost identity in the world. Truthfully speaking, I am a bit of both. I am mature enough to take my own decisions. I don't need any advises when it comes to taking my own decisions. I decide what I'm going to do, whose going to be there in my life and who is not. But at the same time, I am emotionally weak. My heart still aches when I have to let go the things which I have held to my heart since a long time and when my trust gets trampled over and over again. 

In fact, my trust has been broken by different people so many times, that at a point I had decided not to make anymore friends. I had completely isolated myself from the outer world. I would spend days, hours and even weeks analyzing a situation and what went wrong. But I would have no answer. The people I had trusted the most, had turned out to be so fake that I had lost faith in love and friendship.I was tired of smiling in front of everyone in the day and would cry to myself in sleep. So I started breaking others trust. Spilled out things people told me. But it didn't take me much time to realize that I was wrong. I realize that it takes years to build up trust and only suspicion, not proof to destroy it.

My trust issues kept on growing as I grew up. And now they have reached to such an extent that I can't believe what someone has said until I have a proof about it. I have lost many friends cause of my trust issues. They would ask me again and again "why don't you trust me?" and my voice would choke. I would have no answer. I would blame new people in life for the things old people did to me.

But in retrospect, I realize that these incidents have made me stronger emotionally. I have emerged as a much more mature individual. I realize that maturity has more to do with your experiences and less to do with the candles on your cake.

Hard to forget

Yesterday It was hard to remember things,
And today its harder to forget.


-Nupur

When people change

Being of a military background, I have learnt a lot. Life teaches you so many things when you are in a defense background which I wouldn't have learnt otherwise. It has taught me to be more open, more clear and confident about life, be social. But one lesson which I learn quiet early and will cherish for a lifetime is letting go. 

We would have to shift from one place to other in every two years. Just as the bond with friends would start getting stronger, we would part. There would be many tears, but then eventually everybody got busy in their lives and your existence in their lives would hardly matter.

Sometimes I would remissness things in the past, thinking what went wrong or how I could have changed them. I would think about it when I would wake up, in the after while eating my lunch and also before going to bed. I would think about it so much that I would burst out crying. I would blame myself for all those people who left my side, who avoided me and how I could have nurtured those relations.

We make mistakes and sometimes we hurt people who mean the most to us. But letting go isn't giving up, its GROWING up.

Life is all about having fun, taking chances, learning from the past and realizing that people change.

I've let Go Of Everything

"When old shoes start to hurt,
Its time to get a new pair.The same goes for friends"- Nupur

I've been feeling happy lately. If you ask me the reason, I probably wouldn't be able to explain. There is nothing special going on in my life at the moment which would make me smile till my cheeks hurt, yet the grin has taken to my ears.

In retrospect I realize, this change is due to the choices i made in my near past. The people I chose to surround myself with infuse me with renewed energy and reveal a new facet of me. They fill the atmosphere around me with naive positivity and make me laugh till my stomach pains.

I may not be proud of the things I did in past or the person I was.I had experienced complete annihilation under the hands of truth.  But I'm happy with I am today. Life is not perfect, something falls apart at one point or the other. But atleast I'm happy and contended.

I simply let go of my old worn out shoes and got new ones. They are comfortable and make me feel better too :) And sometimes, this is the best way

Love is not just verbal

It was a cold night in the month of December and Delhi was freezing. The old scooter was moving by the speed of a snail in the lonely lane in the outskirts of Delhi. The little girl comforted in her mother’s lap and wrapped up neatly in a shawl clenched her fists tightly as the cold breeze hit her frail body. She was shivering and crying out loud.

She almost slipped from her shawl when her father stopped the rickety old scooter in the middle of the lane. Beads of sweat appeared on the mother’s forehead as she picked up her sari and brought the girl closer to her chest.  They continued the rest of their journey in silence.

Financial conditions were tough. Her father had to pay the house loan. At that time government officer’s salary wasn’t sufficient. He sighed. Once again he was reminded of the pain he was going through. It was a hand to mouth situation. But he didn’t want his daughter’s childhood to be like his. He wanted to give her the best he could. Thoughts raced in his head as he once again stopped the scooter, this time in a crowded place.

He smiled as the girls face bathed in moonlight making her look like an angel. 

Pain reflected on his face as his gaze fell on her clenched teeth and fist. He forgot all his financial problems and decided to buy a car at that instant. He couldn’t let his angel suffer.  He filed the loan application for his car the very next day.  Soon a new car was parked in their parking lot and neither of them had to face the severe cold of Delhi.

The little girl was me. Today she has everything a girl of her age would desire. And she believes she has the best father in the world J

Friends come and go

Friends come and friends go,
Very few of stay for long.
Some friends leave abruptly,
like leaving a stage in the middle of a song.
But our friendship is different,
It is here to stay.
Like dirt, flies and ketchup stains,
It doesn't go away!

-Nupur

A different perspective

The moonlight filtered through the vacillating canopy of the trees and her face bathed in it. She felt as if she had been infused with renewed energy as she smiled to herself. She was in an alternate universe ignorant to all the things happening in the vicinity. The howling of dogs followed by the fluttering of wings of the dragonfly and the breeze that her just hit her face gently seemed to be disconnected, but in her thoughts had an unmatched sync with each other.

As the silver filaments of rain striked the earth she started digging a blissful state of nostalgia. She was reminded of all the beautiful times when she moved into the new city, her set of friends and the fun they had together. She felt the tension and stress ease out of her body as her gaze rested on the ruins of the tea shop where she and her friends had spent the most beautiful time of their lives. Its amusing what role memories play on your worked up mind and relieve stress and tension she thought.

In her soaked form, she felt the rain and lifted her arms to embrace the tiny droplets of rain which shined like pearls. She danced with her arms stretched, like an angel. Divine personification of Venus. Her body it seemed, had let go of the soul captured within and dancer was the only entity her body retained. The gestures of her arms and legs begin to narrate their sad story as tears of joy appeared on the brink of her eyes. She seemed a completely different individual. She felt as if she was reliving her old form that had vanquished in the wake of today's events. She felt herself again.
The moonlight soon faded away and the reddish-yellow Sun peeped behind the frail clouds. She rubbed her eyes to admire the beauty of the Sunrise she had been seeing everyday.
 But now, from a different perspective. 

When reality strikes hard

She checked the time on her watch as her eyebrows shot up wrinkles appeared on her forehead. She was one hour late from school and thoughts raced in her mind of how her mother was going to be mad at her for being late. She recalled the last time it happened, her mother didn’t permit her to go anywhere for a month. She wrapped the shawl around her as she clenched her teeth and started walking. Delhi tends to drop a few degrees in October itself.

Passing by a store she checked herself in the mirror. Reality was far away from her expectations. Her eyes were sunken in their sockets and the fine lines under them were clearly visible. She sighed as her thoughts drove her to what she used to be earlier. A pretty cherubic face which would light up every time she would laugh.  Now she sees shriveled up skin bathed in despair. She sighed at her own reflection as she continued to walk in solitude.

“Natasha!” She heard someone calling her from behind. She looked back as her gaze rested on a friend of hers who lived next door, yet they had not met since weeks.  Rhea and Natasha had been friends since they were toddlers. But time had distanced them. They hardly talked now. Their memories had been etched in her mind. And when they talked, it was more of a formal meeting between two long lost friends.

“What have you been doing these days?” Rhea asked with as she rubbed her palms.

“Nothing much. Just study a little.” Natasha replied as her face was expressionless. She was reminded of all the times when Rhea and she were Best friends and would spend the entire day together. Things were drastically different now. Rhea had got new friends and Natasha engaged herself in studies and painting.

Rhea got the hint. Silence became their accompanist in the rest of the walk.

“Hey, where are you going?” Rhea said as she saw Natasha turning into the lane.

“What do you mean? I’m going home! Mom must be waiting..I’m an hour late.” Natasha replied as she rolled her eyes.

“But you don’t live here anymore! After Aunties’ death...” Rhea paused.

Natasha it seemed had been pushed into reality. For a while she had forgotten that her mother was no more in this world and now they had shifted to a new place where she knew nobody. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the picture of her glorious past splashed in her mind.  She turned around and became ready to complete her journey in solitude again.

“Can I drop you home? Like old times.” Rhea said as her face reflected remorse and guilt.

Let the eyes speak

When words choke in silence

and don't find a way out of my mouth.

EYES SPEAK

A million little things which drown in the silence. A tunnel to my soul, and refection of my personality. Wanting to communicate with you in this eerie silence. 

MY EYES SPEAK, THEY COMMUNICATE 

Only if you want to engrave those deep dark secrets behind them. And discover a new individual.

So sit with me in silence and let the eyes speak. They never lie.

Versatile blogger :D

I feel so honored and privileged for receiving the versatile blogger award from Anjali.
Little did I know that when I would start writing a year ago, It would open so many doors for me, my blogs will be admired so much and  it would become a journey to self-discovery for me. Thanks Anjali! It means so much :D
So the rules are :
1, create a new post
2, Thank the lovely person who nominated you for the award
3, Pass it on to your fellow bloggers
4, State 7  random facts about you
5, Claim and post the award pic
Now passing the award to my favorite blogger
Blahblaholic
Seven random thing about me
1. I am ABSOLUTELY in love with the color purple. (the domain name says it all!)
2. My favorite place in Mumbai is Marine drive and Kala ghoda. Can spend a day there if I want.
3. I love it when someone compliments me on my eyes or smile.
4.My secret aim is to turn the whole world vegetarian.
5. I detest mangoes. Can eat anything, but mangoes.
6. I feel proud of myself cause I know what to do in life, and how to get there. My vocational choice is a combination of aptitude and aspiration.
7. I HATE it when someone checks my phone, drawers or my diary without my permission!!


I ACCEPT MY VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD :D. Thanks again! Anjali

For the most wonderful woman in my life!

She looked  straight into my eyes sternly as she seated herself on a chair pulled next to mine and told in a calm yet bold tone “At least try Nupur! You cannot give up. Besides this is something you are good at. You will win, And even if you won’t we will always be there.”

Reluctantly, I agreed to participate in the competition. She was there when I spoke in an auditorium filled with 2000 eyes staring at me pointedly. It was with her encouraging words and a pinch of my talent, I rose as the winner of the rolling trophy. My mom has always been my pillar of strength.

She was twenty three when she was blessed with me. An age a little too young to be a mother. She left her well paying full time job in Delhi to take care of me. Today when I question her why did she do that? She says that her priorities are different and she doesn’t regret leaving her job.  It’s from her I learn to keep my family first everywhere and making sacrifices for my loved ones.

She is a great lady. If I owe my sense of identity to someone, undoubtedly it’s her. She has always taught me that it is always better to stand out then fit in.  So when I would cry like a 5 year old every day before going to my new school in a different city because I wasn’t accepted by my classmates , she would hug me and give me assurance that everything is going to be alright in a few days. She never taught me to back off and encouraged me to face my fears with courage.

When I was on the brink on teenage, she had detailed discussions with me about how children get misdirected and a lot of other things as well. I never had to hide something from my mother.  We discussed everything from books to boys. She also exactly knew who my crushes were.  Right from that time I had decided, if I ever become a mother. I would love to be like her.

Today I’m taller to her, and she continues to be my best friend and best company to the mall, parlor or even a video game store.  She has tried her best to be a supportive mom of an eccentric teenage girl and yes, she has succeeded.

I just don’t love her. All kids do that. I also admire her for being my pillar of strength and being a wonderful woman throughout. She has taught me to be independent and take my own decisions. Years later, I will also thank her for the things she has stopped me from doing now.  I will always cherish her presence as a distinct sense of comfort envelops me when I am with her. J

And I love her too cause besides my grandmother, she is the only person who thinks I’m beautiful: p and also because she lets me eat her slice of chocolate truffle pastry.

 Love you mumma and wish you a very happy birthday!

P.S: She has turned 39! still young to be a 15 years old's mom :p  And her birthday was on 27th, but couldn't access net that day.

When you say, Life is tough

Who says life is tough? It is simple :)

You just have to

Know how to smile during hard times.

Learn the value of hard work and determination.

Realize the fact that your parents may not raised you the way you want, but have tried their best to make your life comfortable.

Have an optimistic approach towards everything.

Talk less, listen more.

Have a strong conscience and know how to say NO.

Know your boundaries and priorities and organize life on that basis.

Spend time with your loved ones and ignore the people who disappoint you in any way.

Realize who is important to you and whom are you important to.

Is it really that tough? I dont think so!

Rain connects dots

Rain brings back memories,
Rain connects dots.
Rain brings back the pain of separation.
The happy memories which dissolve into silent tears.

P.S: This post is for a friend of mine who met me during the monsoon rains and got separated in the monsoon of the next year. Rain brings flood, flood of memories. 

clarifications

I was left awestruck when a friend walked upto me and asked me that is Why do I cry narrate from MY point of view?
Was surprised me more was 2 other friends asked me the same question :/
So just wanted to make it clear that my poems are totally fictional! To write poems, you need to be an emotional baggage. Fortunately or unfortunately I haven't gone through much so I write from that point of view! I don't keep anyone in my mind while writing poems. Terribly sad people interpreted in the wrong way :/
Good thing is, I know more people are reading my blog now :p

Love and laughter
Nupur

Time heals wounds

Time heals all wounds,
Time lessens the pain.
Like after the scorching sun,
There is a little rain.
-Nupur

Random rants: Only hope

When the rest of the world chooses to walk past,
And the lights go off.
Ignite that spark
And be my candle in the dark.
-Nupur

I'm strong, but have my weaknesses

I am stronger than the wine,
But weaker than the glass that hold it.

-Nupur

Hello :)

Just decided to drop by and say a quick hello :)
SO if your wondering what I'm doing nowadays, the obvious answer would be I'm vacationing!
No not in Hawai, or  London or even Goa (closer to home). I'm vacationing in Mumbai itself.
Reading fellow blogger's blogs, painting, a little cooking, reading books, watching movies and smiling. (atleast trying to)
My results will be declared by the end of the month. So doing everything fun before I get taunted by four family members :)
Will be posting something interesting really soon! So be hooked
Love and Laughter
Nupur :)

I'm happy even without you

I see the sparkle in your eyes,
And the love you have for me.
I'm sorry to let you down,
But together we cannot be.

I have so many aims in life.
So many dreams to chase.
I need to win every battle,
And earn everyones praise.

You promise to treat me like a princess,
And keep me happy too.
But the truth is,
Im also happy without you

Afraid of light

The wind whispers something into my ears as my feet crush the vagrant leaves and the sound of the sea hits my eardrums with great vengeance. It's difficult to provide reasoning for every feeling, every emotion my heart feels and every though that strikes a chord within me and stirs up a new set of emotions.


The raindrops settle on my skin as I toss the umbrella away and rejoice the sensation of first rain. I disdain the presence of any other individual in the vicinity and some scrutinizing eyes as my both arms rise to admire the beauty of the evening sky and close my eyes allowing the rain to soothe them with their calming effect.


The evening sky filters the sunlight through it which whispers to me silently that soon the sun will betray me and drown itself in the night sky. Lately, I have been more afraid of light than dark, because light can leave you anytime and anywhere, in an intricate mess.

Lost her way home

Poetry is something with which I would prefer NOT to experiment but this poem is very close to my heart. I mean each and every word in it. It is not fiction, It is what I truly feel at the moment!

The girl you see in the mirror is not me,
Cause this is not how she used to be.
She once could kill with her infectious smile,
Now she is doing it all to make her life worthwhile.
She smiles but her eyes a tunnel to her soul reflect the pain,
But the agony and longing is here to remain.
Nobody talks or questions her, her life is an open book
For people to creep up her nerves and take a look.
She finds herself in darkness, covered by horrors of shade
Yet in this unconquerable situation, she finds herself unafraid
She doesn't cry, she doesn't whine
Cause she knows after the darkest night comes the sunshine
She's not broken, she's not torn
She is just a girl who has lost her way home.

Give your heart a break

My life has been changing gears at a stunning speed since a past ! It has shifted from neutral gear and I'm ready to embark a new journey. Caught in the web of responsibilities and social commitments, I hardly found time to take a deep breath and analyze about my past, think about present events and make choices for the future.

My usual moments with 'myself' would involve scanning through all the memories of events which happened a few days ago and giving a deep though to how to react to it. I wanted to untangle those intricate knots that had been formed in my heart and were the reason of my immense pain. I felt like a bird entangled in the kite strings crying out for help.

Then suddenly, a friend of mine advised me to give my heart a break. This involved distancing yourself from all the negativity around you and clearing all of it. Let it be irritating people or even a messy drawer. Sit by the window and deeply analyze all the things that have been happening to you, and what impact have they left of you. So I did, I took a deep breath and sat beside the window.

I looked outside my window pain as the silver filaments of rain obliquely strike the earth with great vengeance. I felt like I was in an alternate universe ignorant of all the happenings around me. Sounds blended to conceive a mellifluous euphony of the pitter-patter of raindrops, the sound of a firefly buzzing outside the window and the swish of the leaves. I was oblivious to any other presence in the vicinity and had a surreal feeling that time was moving by and the world around me had come to a grinding halt.

I gave my heart a break. And once in a while, everyone should

Apologies!

Apologies over the past 15 years of my life to different people.

1. Apologies to the McDonald's staff for carrying the ketchup sachets home before they introduced a dispenser.

2.Apologies to my friend, on whose face I spat by mistake a million times.

3. Apologies to my mother for compelling her to raise hand on me when she had her Mehendi on...raising hand me had spoilt it completely!

4. Apologies to my Maths teacher for cursing him after each and every exam.

5. Apologies to the nurse, whose eardrums were on the verge of bursting when I had to go for a blood test.

6. Apologies to the shopkeeper, whose precious time I would waste bargaining over something I never wanted.

7.Apologies to the Stall owner outside my school whom I gave a torn ten rupee note purposely.


8. Apologies to my family members, for torturing you with my LOUD and shrill voice.

9. Apologies for pinching that young girl ahead me in the temple line (she pushed me first!)

10. Apologies to my blog readers, at my attempt towards a humorous blog post. And yes, all the above mentioned things are absolutely true! 

Down the memory lane- conservatism and clothes

One thing which I LOVE and totally appreciate about Mumbai is that you have full freedom and nobody can be the obstruction in your happiness. You can do whatever you feel like without eyeballs popping and raising eyebrows. Your skirts can be as short as you like, your tops can be as transparent as plastic (or call it translucent ;). Of course you will get some stares, but nobody will be seen whispering something in the other persons ear or pointing fingers at you.

So when I went to Jaipur to attend a marriage, I had forgotten how conservative city it is and how your choice of clothing can affect people around you.

I sat in the living room of my Grandfathers house dressed in a White top and light blue skirt above my knee ready to go to the market with mum. When suddenly my grandfather, whom i lovingly call Nanu entered the room.
"Why don't you get ready?" He said a little annoyed. "We are already late."
"What?" I replied a little panicked. "But I AM ready!"
"Is this what you are going to wear?" He said. The sarcasm in his voice was clearly visible.
"Yes!" I said as I rolled my eyes and shrugged nonchalantly.
"Oh well then.." He said a little embarrassed and left the room.

My mother who had witnessed the incident chuckled.
"He must be a IIM-Ahmadabad alumni and have traveled all around the world! But his thoughts haven't changed a bit."
I laughed along too. Old habits hardly die.

Down the memory lane- Age miracle

Whoever said shopping is a 'therapy' should be hanged to death! Children of shopping loving mothers should  fully comprehend to what I'm saying. Walking in streets, markets and malls for hours with an empty stomach and a splitting headache accompanied with numb legs in NOT my idea of a therapy.

A few years ago, I had to accompany my mother for some Diwali shopping. My mother was busy negotiating the price of curtains and drapes with the shopkeeper, while a beautiful handbag caught my attention. Not much of a girly girl, my female hormones take the rage sometimes :p I had a sudden urge to buy it. But I knew my mother wouldn't have let me, not in a MILLION years. Considering the fact that I NEVER carried a handbag.And as a matter-of-fact I didn't need one! So when I went upto her with an inch of hope that she will let me buy it, her answer was a blunt NO with a nonchalant shrug. I sulked.

Then suddenly the shopkeeper who was a female while suggesting some suits and duppatas to my mother said
"Mam, If you don't mind, Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes." Replied my mother. Her eyebrows had twitched.
"Are you married?"
My mother hid her grin as she replied with a twinkle in her eyes. I have a 13 year old daughter! (yes I was thirteen at that time)
"Oh sorry!" She replied a little embarrassed. "You look much younger!"

My mother left the store as her cheeks flushed red. And if you are still wondering, she DID let me buy the handbag ;) I mentally thanked the shopkeeper.

Number three

3 things you should know about number 3

1. I was born on the date 3 :D
2. The number of 'true' friends I have ever had.
3. It is my lucky number and follows me like EVERYWHERE!

3 things that scare me

1.Liars and fake friends

2.Dogs

3.Needles and syringes

3 things I love

1. Spending time with my 'special' friends.

2. Writing something creative.

3. Eating to my heart's content.

3 things I want to do before I die

1.Buy my parents a really exotic house and a car :D

2.A vacation to Egypt with my friends.

3.See my grandchildren read and admire my blog ;)

3 things I can do

1. Squint my eyes in a really weird manner :D

2. Comprehend and understand someone to a large extent.

3.Wear a six inch heel for hours!

3 favourite foods

1.Cheese Burst pizza

2.Pasta

3.Extra cheese burger

Quote of the day :)

Distracting from the pain

I have always been a regular visitor to the hospital right since childhood due to my low immunity. I was always suffering from some or the other problem. The whole hospital staff knew me at some point of time :p

So yesterday I made another trip to the hospital. I had to get my testosterone levels checked (it is a hormone). My heart skipped a beat when the doctor scribbled "Bloodtest" on the prescription in big bold letters and tossed it away. I begged and pleaded my mother to not take me to the blood test and told her that I will eat all my vegetables. But I guess my prayers didn't move her and she lashed out at me for creating a scene in the hospital.

I entered the ward crying and pleading my mother to let me go like a three year old child. Eyebrows shot up and the nurse signaled my mother to shut me up. For a minute I had forgotten the fact that I was in the hospital.

I reluctantly entered the room and the nurse greeted me with a warm smile. She asked me to lie down while she was doing something with the syringe. A chill ran down my spine. I lied down and she begin with asking me simple questions like "What is your name?" I replied "Nupur!" with a quiver in my voice. Then she asked me where did I study and did I like the school?

While my mind was fighting an internal battle whether to tell her the truth about my school or not she had injected the syringe in my right arm and the job had been done! I didn't feel the pain simply because she had distracted me from it!

So I am distracting myself from pain today by thinking of all the good that has happened with me so far and thinking of all that can happen. My blood test taught me a lesson which I'm going to cherish for the rest of my life :)

So distract yourself from the pain, this technique really works :D

Out of reach, yet so close

You are out of reach yet so close

I can hear your voice in the room next to mine.

The smell of your perfume can still be felt.

I can see the twinkle of your eyes when you see something exciting.

I can see the dimples dig deep in your cheeks when you smile.

I can hear your laughter when I do something totally stupid!

Every time I bake a cake, I get nostalgic and the moments spent with you come like a flood of memories.

You are out of reach, yet so close! I miss you so much Sappy
I can hear you laugh, I see you fall
But you are out of reach


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2bdj5tIjkY

Love in the train

I looked outside the window from my train compartment loaded with irritating co-passengers who were shouting at the peak of their voices as my gaze rested  on the beautiful scene mother nature had painted outside.I was digging a blissful state of nostalgia. The rain had made everything appear beautiful. I saw the raindrops dance on the window as they connected dots.
Then suddenly my gaze shifted to a three year old boy who was eating a biscuit from a packet. Hid mother was constantly bickering at him for dropping the tiny pieces on his shirt and not offering his biscuits to others. But he didn't budge.

Then, a girl of about his age entered our compartment with her tiny fingers clutched around her fathers hand. She was wearing a frock in the lightest shade of pink and had her hair tied in two ponytails. She looked extremely adorable.

I questioned her what her name was. "Ariya". She replied shyly as she hid behind her father.

"Ariya do you want a biscuit?" said the little guy who was in my compartment as he handed her a biscuit from his packet.
"Thanks!" She said coyly as she picked up a biscuit from the packet. Both of her cheeks were red now.

Then they started a conversation which wasn't audible to me but I had fun looking at the cute couple in my compartment.
I wish love could be as pure as this. The guy who didn't offer biscuits to anyone else, went up to the girl and offered her one. It left me in Awing for the rest of the day and my grin took to my ears.
Small positive incidents like this, make life worth living!