Monday, 30 April 2012

Distracting from the pain

I have always been a regular visitor to the hospital right since childhood due to my low immunity. I was always suffering from some or the other problem. The whole hospital staff knew me at some point of time :p

So yesterday I made another trip to the hospital. I had to get my testosterone levels checked (it is a hormone). My heart skipped a beat when the doctor scribbled "Bloodtest" on the prescription in big bold letters and tossed it away. I begged and pleaded my mother to not take me to the blood test and told her that I will eat all my vegetables. But I guess my prayers didn't move her and she lashed out at me for creating a scene in the hospital.

I entered the ward crying and pleading my mother to let me go like a three year old child. Eyebrows shot up and the nurse signaled my mother to shut me up. For a minute I had forgotten the fact that I was in the hospital.

I reluctantly entered the room and the nurse greeted me with a warm smile. She asked me to lie down while she was doing something with the syringe. A chill ran down my spine. I lied down and she begin with asking me simple questions like "What is your name?" I replied "Nupur!" with a quiver in my voice. Then she asked me where did I study and did I like the school?

While my mind was fighting an internal battle whether to tell her the truth about my school or not she had injected the syringe in my right arm and the job had been done! I didn't feel the pain simply because she had distracted me from it!

So I am distracting myself from pain today by thinking of all the good that has happened with me so far and thinking of all that can happen. My blood test taught me a lesson which I'm going to cherish for the rest of my life :)

So distract yourself from the pain, this technique really works :D

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Out of reach, yet so close

You are out of reach yet so close

I can hear your voice in the room next to mine.

The smell of your perfume can still be felt.

I can see the twinkle of your eyes when you see something exciting.

I can see the dimples dig deep in your cheeks when you smile.

I can hear your laughter when I do something totally stupid!

Every time I bake a cake, I get nostalgic and the moments spent with you come like a flood of memories.

You are out of reach, yet so close! I miss you so much Sappy
I can hear you laugh, I see you fall
But you are out of reach

Love in the train

I looked outside the window from my train compartment loaded with irritating co-passengers who were shouting at the peak of their voices as my gaze rested  on the beautiful scene mother nature had painted outside.I was digging a blissful state of nostalgia. The rain had made everything appear beautiful. I saw the raindrops dance on the window as they connected dots.
Then suddenly my gaze shifted to a three year old boy who was eating a biscuit from a packet. Hid mother was constantly bickering at him for dropping the tiny pieces on his shirt and not offering his biscuits to others. But he didn't budge.

Then, a girl of about his age entered our compartment with her tiny fingers clutched around her fathers hand. She was wearing a frock in the lightest shade of pink and had her hair tied in two ponytails. She looked extremely adorable.

I questioned her what her name was. "Ariya". She replied shyly as she hid behind her father.

"Ariya do you want a biscuit?" said the little guy who was in my compartment as he handed her a biscuit from his packet.
"Thanks!" She said coyly as she picked up a biscuit from the packet. Both of her cheeks were red now.

Then they started a conversation which wasn't audible to me but I had fun looking at the cute couple in my compartment.
I wish love could be as pure as this. The guy who didn't offer biscuits to anyone else, went up to the girl and offered her one. It left me in Awing for the rest of the day and my grin took to my ears.
Small positive incidents like this, make life worth living!

Friday, 20 April 2012

Perfect is a part of 'imperfect'

Pinkish, tall, fair, homely, highly educated is the description of a perfect bride according to matrimonial columns. Honestly, these perfect bride and groom wanted descriptions make me laugh. Cause people seek for perfection without first attaining themselves!

Look at your reflection in the mirror. Do you have almond shaped eyes or a perfect size zero figure?or are you 5'9 ? If the answer is no, you cannot expect your partner to be a strait-from-heaven match! Imperfections are a part of life and necessary for sustenance and should be accepted positively.

One thing which i strongly criticize about disney fairytails is the perfect groom/bride factor. It gives us the idea of a prince charming by focusing more on his physical appearance. It has always evoked me provokingly that can't we have a fairy tail which shows us how to find perfection in imperfections. Then Shrek came. My favorite movie in which two 'imperfect' people find their 'perfect' match and live happily ever after!

The core of my blog is that don't seek for perfection in others nor try to change them. Their is beauty in imperfection too. So don't look for a perfect person, but the right one :)

Curious as a cat-III

1) If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
I would have loved to say a CA or something as cliched as that, but that is something I can achieve wit my own capability! So I would like to host a travelling show on television.

2) Would you rather be ugly and marry a good looking person or be good looking and marry an ugly person?
I would rather be good looking and marry a ugly person! Sense of security is important. Besides money plays a large role in this decision! (hehe :D)

3) What is the dumbest thing people do to make themselves better-looking?
Guys spike their hair and apply gel to it (gross) and girls apply lipstick shades which don't suit them. Besides, they go for super expensive cosmetic treatments.

4) Do you express how you feel or do you keep it inside?
It largely depends on my company and mood. Generally, I don't keep my things to myself.

5)What bothers you most in other people, generally?
Poor hygiene, Ego, I-don't-want-to-mingle attitude and  superiority complex.

The 'wilder' side of me

I being a 15 year old teenager caught in the web of numerous problems and commitments forget how to live life my way sometimes.I swing 'unpredictably' between eccentric and efficient. My eyes dry up completely and face becomes pale. I tend to forget that i am just a normal teenager and this is the stage in which I can live my life completely.

Today while on my way back from a friends birthday party, I behaved in a way which surprised me too. I sat on the seat of the bus accompanied my some other friends behaving like civilized passengers. I suddenly had the urge to sing out loud. So i cleared my throat and started singing like a retard.

Lipstick ka thappa lagati hai galon pe smooch marke...oh meri jaan! oh meri jaan!

Heads turned and eyes popped in amusement. My friends pretended as if they didn't know me. Some people giggled with me while others twitched their nose in disgust. The conductor seemed to enjoy it too! No wonder he didn't ask me to shut up :p

So I returned home with a broad grin on my face today. I truly didn't behave like a civilized citizen but it was more significantly 'me'. And sometimes its important to forget everything and just let yourself go! Instances like this make life worth living. It made me seem like a retard..but who cares? Everyone seemed to enjoy it! Half the job done :)

So this was a wilder side of me. And i realize this 15 year old still has the ability to surprise herself and others sometimes :)

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Strong girls don't cry

She clutched her huge pink teddy almost of her size in her tiny arms and hid her face in his fur. His soft furry coat absorbed the tears which rolled down her cheeks. She could clearly hear her mom and dad shouting and abusing at each other even through the closed doors.
But she stopped herself from crying.
Because strong girls don't cry....

When she went in school, her seniors came upto her and forced her to buy a Cold drink from the money she was supposed to buy her lunch. They snatched money from her clutched fist and she couldn't do anything. She stool there motionless. She stopped the storm of emotions which was about to find its way through her eyes.
Because strong girls don't cry..

She survived on bread and butter for three days when her parents had separated and she had to live with her dad. Her new mom didn't have time for herself, let alone her step-daughter. She took out time from her studies and cooked for her and her dad. But she held back her emotions.
Because strong girls don't cry.

Her voice choked and words couldn't find a way out of her mouth when her Best friend told her to stay away and find new friends instead. The only support she had, was cruelly snatched by fate. Her voice quivered and her eyes watered. But she stopped herself from crying.
Because big girls don't cry....

This is for the girl I know, who didn't cry even after facing so much in her life at a very young age. She inspires me and i totally look up to her. I wish that big girl could lighten up her burden and pain, only if she could cry.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Curious as a cat-II

1) When have you been the most silent?
There was a phase in my life, when I hardly spoke. Even if someone asked my name, I would mumble something which would sound like a verbal car crash!

2)Describe your favorite outfit. Why is it your favorite?
My favorite outfit is a white color forever new dress cause I shed a lot of wallet on it!

3) Which is the nicest place you have ever stayed?
Ooty! No second thoughts. Who wouldn't like travelling on horses and ponies and living on hills?

4) Would you rather be 4'5 or 7'7?
I'd like to be 7'7 so that I can bash up all people who make fun of me being 5'2...hehe!

5)What is your favorite comfort food and why?
Anything good cooked by my mom! Probably sabudane ki khichdi, methi ka paratha or a regular sized burger from McDonald's.

Battling inner evils

I realize that every dawn brings a new set of opportunities for you to explore and one must make best use of it. We often try to change others by pointing out their mistakes and highlighting their negativity. But how often do we ourselves take the charge and battle our inner evils? Ask ten people around you what qualities of yours do they dislike and would suggest you to change. Jot them down on a list of paper and try to improve everyday. I did it a few weeks back and got a much more pleased 'me'. Battling your inner evils is a great experience, trust me.
Become wiser.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Qualities of highly effective teenagers

Teenage, as they say is the most rebellious phase of ones life. I too am going through the same phase battling my inner and outer evils and taking everyday as a challenge.Some teenagers, lose their vision and indulge in wrong activities. Others however, take the challenge very positively and conquer in the end. So here I present some qualities of highly effective teenagers:

1.Choose their friends wisely
Effective teenagers are smart and choose friends very wisely and do not go with the crowd. In teenage years it is very important to be with the right people and in the right company. Company has a huge influence on a teenagers growth and development.

2.Know what to do in life
Effective teenagers are determined. They know what they are going to do in life and work hard to achieve it. They set both long term and short term goals and work towards them.

3.Good communication skills
It is very important in today's world to be street smart and have good communication skills. Effective teenagers can strike a conversation with anyone and about anything! They know how to speak, when to speak and are great listeners and advisers as well.

4. Know how to say NO
Effective teenagers don't always go with the flock and deny something which they don't find appropriate, or something they don't desire.

 5.Know their talents
Effective teenagers know what their talents are and try to improve them. They know how to manage time and balance various aspects of their lifes beautifully!

Sunday, 8 April 2012

A kite in the open sky

I'm a kite in the open sky!

Sporting colors of freedom on myself I swing unpredictably in the sky. I meet and greet other kites with a warm hug. Some greet me back politely while others mess with me and bring me down back to earth swinging, to the amusement of adult and children alike.
I rise up high in the sky but am grounded at the same time. My life is unpredictable. I might fly high in the sky at one moment and lie down in dusty streets at another, but I relish every moment of my life.
I am liked by everybody till the time I'm in perfect condition. As soon as i develop a tear, I am abandoned by everybody.

How beautiful the sun looks from the horizon and how amazing it feels when the wind gently blows a kiss to you!

I do not want success, fame or money. I just want to be a liberated a kite in the open sky.

Saturday, 7 April 2012

My grandfather!

I was sitting in the car pampering my ears with some soothing music and eating vegetable sandwiches made by my mother. After four years I was going to be in my hometown midst the lush green trees and enveloped by the fragrances of freshly planted orchards. What excited me more was being with my grandparents the entire summer! A distinct sense of comfort envelops me when I am with my grandparents. Unlike my parents, they do not shout at me or nag me all the time.
When I stepped out of the car and offloaded my luggage, the sight that i saw wasn't the same that used to greet me a couple of years ago. The lush greenery was nowhere to be seen and the orchards had wilted away. I walked up to my grandmother and asked her "What happened to all that was here a few years ago?" 
"Everything gone, who has the energy?" She half smiled, the pain in her eyes was clearly visible.

My grandfather then greeted me with open arms. I was surprised to see him so frail and weak. His shoulders were drooping down and that cheerful enthusiastic smile had faded away. I wondered how things changed in a matter of years..

Earlier my maternal grandparents house used to bring only positive thoughts into my mind. I remember, as a child I used to always brim with enthusiasm to visit them. My grandfather worked as a chief engineer in Voltas and brought cakes and gifts every day he returned from his office. I would cling to his shoulders and he would take me for a ride outside. Me and my cousin would sit with him and trouble him every time he did Yoga, his concentration would brake and we broke into peals of laughter. The day we would arrive to his house, he would take us to the market to buy a list of food items my grandmother would need to make delicacies for us. Time flew with my nana 

But today everything has changed. His frail week shoulders cannot bear our pain and he has retired from his office. He lies down on the bed whole day and takes rest as he suffered from a heart stroke recently. My eyes become moist when I compare the present situation to the past.

The most lively and enthusiastic man I knew, is now frail and week. He is struggling to meet ends. And the least I can do for him is a warm hug! 
So we spent that evening listening to old songs and the memories attached to them. My nana is still the coolest person I know :)

Pulling others down

Let me begin with a short story

Once there was a woman who sold crabs in the market place. A man saw that the basket in which she had kept the crabs, had no led. The crabs could easily crawl out of the basket. So the man walked up to the woman and asked her "Why don't you cover the basket? The crabs might run away!"
"No!" she shook her head sideways. Each time a crab tries to get out of the basket, it is pulled down by the others.

In this competitive world, everyone wants to be ahead in the rat race. To do so, some people enhance their capabilities and push boundaries while others use shortcut methods and pull others down to bring themselves up. We at some point of time in our lives, have tried the second way. But what is the use of a victory only for namesake? A victory for me is a victory if i have shed blood for it and tons of sweat for it. Winning just for the medal is completely useless and naive.

So do your work without being pulled down by others and avoid pulling others down too. :)

Friday, 6 April 2012

swimming through the currents

After jumping into a forty feet deep demonic swimming pool at the age of ten, I was infused with extreme confidence. I ran to my dad who stood at the other side of the pool. He patted my back with a broad satisfied smile asked me if i was scared. I replied with a non nonchalant shrug of an Olympic medal winning swimmer "No! Me and scared! I'm ready to face the ocean now.He laughed off my remark casually and said"You need to learn to swim through the currents first."

His words said almost five years back suddenly made more sense. I had jumped into the swimming pool with exaggerated confidence but had forgotten that ocean wasn't the same. It has currents which push you back every time to try to swim forward and often bring you back to the same place from where you had started. You can only swim through a ocean and reach the other side if you have enough strength and swim through the 'currents'.

As a young girl of fifteen, I still have trouble swimming through the currents of my life. Sometimes, I am pushed back to the same place I had started from and other times I do not have enough strength to face the currents. Yet I try to face each wave challenging the ocean with greater anticipation.

When friends walk away

Don't be too confident when someone says they will be with you always
Cause they usually don't mean it.

The idea itself of friendship pushes some serious buttons love, jealousy, anger and more. But the true meaning of friendship would be a special bond in which souls connect. I have been privileged with some of the best lot and feel a deep connection with them. Friends occupy a special place in our heart. They make you smile and feel special! Who doesn't want good friends?

But how do you feel when they walk away without giving a reason? They stop e-mailing you, calling you, replying to your texts without giving a logical reason. They try to avoid you in every possible way and neglect you every time and everywhere. You realize that you don't seem to 'fit into' each others lives.

What to do with such a friendship?

It is YOU who will decide. Is it worthy of your time and energy or is it simply better to let go? Do you want to fight for your friendship or is it simply not worth? 
Sometimes, its better to let go...

This note is for a friend of mine who has stopped answering my calls and has simply walked away. And this time, it will be better for both of us to let go of a friendship which gave us more tears than smiles.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Memories..good and bad

With a cup of coffee in my hand and smothered evenly on my upper lip, I'm currently digging a blissful state of nostalgia. It was not long ago I had beginning my journey as a secondary student and now it is coming to an end. I will always cherish the beautiful times spent with my teachers and friends. Another sip from my bubbling coffee led me to think about memories...

 Like any other teenage girl, my life has been enriched with both good and bad memories which are hard to forget. From winning a much deserved award to losing a best friend, I have had it all. Ask me to talk about my childhood days spent in different parts of the country, I can go on and on for hours. And what i speak sounds like a verbal car crash. Memories occupy a special place in your heart.

In the course of time, you will lose a best friend, lose someone you love and have to leave everything behind. But don't forget, you will have the memories :)