Monday, 23 December 2013


Lately, I have been thinking about the parameters on which we evaluate or define a person. The most run-of-the mill answer would be goals, nature and conduct.

However, taking into consideration the dynamism of the surroundings we exist, the evaluation of a person on the basis of these objectives would not yield accurate result. But any alternative has not come into my knowledge as yet!

Those who know me would probably feel that I am being sanctimonious. But I would rather say that the prejudices or preconceived notions I have about some people are a result of past experiences. And a contributing factor in my accurate judgement has been understanding people on a different plane. My ability to judge and understand has been my privilege throughout!

Looking back, I wish I had spent more time loving people than trying to comprehend their behavior and actions. Though the intentions were pure, the repercussions were not in my favor.

Saying that, I would like to end this blog post to catch a little sleep. Which I believe is my prerogative today!


Monday, 25 November 2013

Another award B)

Thank you so much Lubaina for the award :D means ALOT to me. This is my third award in 2 years of blogging, and I am thrilled :D

You are one of the finest bloggers and best artists I have come across on blogger :)

Liebster award exists only on the internet, and is given to bloggers by other bloggers. 
It has German origins – the word “liebster” has several definitions: dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, welcome and the likes..

And now, I answer your questions

1) Describe yourself in 3 words.
Nutty, goofy and amiable

2) Your best home alone experience.
In my 17 years of existence, I haven't had a home alone experience yet :p :(

3) A perfect evening is..
Watching roadies auditions for hours :D with a cup of coffee followed by bhelpuri and lots of samosas :D

4)Think quick. Fish or fries.
Fish in the aquarium, fries on my plate. ( I don't want to explain the notions of my vegetarianism again yaar!)

5)Which place would you visit if you could go to any place in the world?
I would like to visit New York City to meet my 6 month old cousin brother :D :*

6) Winters or summers?
Winters B)

7) Reason for Q6?
I have seen winters after almost 2 years now :p

8)Is the concept of having a good handwriting over-rated?
Maybe, maybe not. Who cares? I have an above average handwriting :D

9)Comics or novels.

10) What is best part about being a blogger?
Getting good feedback from the most unexpected people/

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Things I am going to miss about school

Lunch boxes, all shapes, sizes and colours. The smell of maa ke hath ka khana that would reach the teacher's nostrils before the food would reach my mouth.

The excitements rain brought. The darkening of the sky, jumping between puddles in the school compound, walking to school in ankle length water. Eternal bliss.

The way we waited for Reproduction chapter to be taught in class 8 and 10 despite having read the whole chapter line by line five times already ( the plant part excluded). Giggles and sheepish grins that were visible in every corner of the class when somebody asked a doubt.

Official bunking in the name of annual day, teacher's day etc. and the rehearsals for months just did not matter. We were always under prepared on the day of the performance.

The opportunity of wearing casuals on special occasions would involve 36 hours of decision making. (Am I overdressed? Or maybe under dressed?)

The punishment given to a large number of students just did not mean punishment, it meant fun! Standing outside the class and explaining the reason to every teacher/student that passed by. ( Is teacher ka to daily ka hai)

The school picnics in which the teachers would act crazier than the students. The candid conversations, truth and dare games and then returning to the same old teacher-student relationship the very next day.

The fact that school ends on a few months gives me jitters. It is a mixed feeling which cannot be put into words. The one quote that keeps me going is "Tomorrow always comes, and today is never yesterday".

Monday, 4 November 2013

Zero to infinity

Clouds of uncertainty loom large
Fear seeks abode in my soul
Energy draining down
Hope being sucked in a black hole

No time to turn around
Nothing to fall back on
This is a game of loss
Nothing is to be won

Two individuals drifting apart
Reunion beyond my ability
Lets embark on a new journey
From zero to infinity

(strictly fictional)

Saturday, 12 October 2013

Random Rants

Old jeans, old wine and old relationships. Some things just get better with time!

I had thought of taking a sabbatical from writing, but because of the amazing response I have been getting lately I dropped the idea. I got more than 1000 views last month from all over the world :D
Just wanted to let you know, that i really really appreciate comments and would love to know your views about my blog.

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Game over

Right since the beginning, we are told that we are a part of the game. The game in which everything is at stake. There is a loser and a winner, and we must put in every effort to emerge as the winner. Cause ultimately, the world doesn't see how much effort has one put in and doesn't demand or expect an explanation. The only important thing is the final outcome.
But what people will never understand is that, there may not be a winner every time. Sometimes, both the parties are at the losing end. There is no outcome of incessant activities we are constantly indulged in.There might be a winner, and Mission accomplished might flash in bold letters across the scene, but the winner has nothing to gain. Absolutely nothing.

Saturday, 28 September 2013

So much has been written about 'being real', 'being true to yourself' and 'being who you are' that it makes me want to question my own beliefs. We live in a society that scrutinizes every decision we make and never restrains from making judgement. Every movement of ours is guided by the societies point of view and not our own conscience. In this kind of environment, the question that crops up is that "Should we blindly follow our desires or some actions should be guided by he society as well?"

The truth is that I cannot answer this question. Like any other poet or author I could have concealed the truth with layers of diplomacy, but not long time back I had taken a vow to be true to myself. And standing by it, I wont let my thoughts wander away far from reality. Right now, I am facing the same dilemma. School will end in a few months and a new journey will began. The decision to be taken in a matter of a few weeks, will have the power to change the course of the rest of my life. One wrong decision might have serious repercussions. So right now, my heart wanders in one direction and my mind sways in other, but I'm pretty sure I know what will keep me happy in the long run.


Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Live in the moment

Its ironical how nothing exciting or worth mentioning is going on in my life right now contrary to what has been on my mind lately. Life has changed gears at a stunning speed, I have transformed from a starry eyed teenage lass to somebody I am yet to come in terms with. But the one change that has been the most fascinating one, is the transfer of the decision making authority from the head to the heart.
Being a wallflower in my initial years of school, my mind had been the sole decision making authority right since the beginning. Desires were suppressed and the heart was consoled like a little kid who is refused his favorite candy. The 'excuse' would be "It will pay in the long run" or "Momentary pleasure are no fun, one should plan for the long run". Every time I stifled my desires, I would recollect the quote by the renowned poet Robert Frost "Miles to go before I sleep". Sadly enough, I wasn't introduced to any poet who wrote about living in the moment. If I would have been introduced to this philosophy a little earlier, probably I would now have had more memories, more friends to cherish and more photographs hung on my bedroom wall.
The reason why I call this change ;fascinating' is that I had never anticipated it or seen it coming. I often joke that If I would have met the present version of 'Me' two years ago I would have actually hated myself. Strange but true. I don't know how fruitful this change will be, I don't know what it will bring about, all I know now is that at least I will have memories to cling too. 
My heartfelt gratitude to those people who have succeeded in altering my perception. The people who laugh their lungs out at the silliest of things, who live in the moment, who dance like carefree souls. You are the people who have understood the true essence of life, you know the reason of your existence and will continue to inspire the world even when your mortal souls exit the planet earth.


Monday, 9 September 2013

A tribute to the Uttarakhand heroes

The tragedy that hit in Uttarakhand left the whole country shocked and devastated. While the rest of the nation was trying to get over the loss of their loved ones, there were some people who risked their lives to save the thousands of people stuck in Uttarakhand. The least we can do to make them immortal is by keeping them alive in our hearts. My friends from Mumbai pay a touching tribute to the brave soldiers who lost their lives in the rescue operation.

Thursday, 5 September 2013

Experience and change

It has been a transforming experience, an enriching one. The definition of friends has narrowed, but the horizon has widened. I have started looking at things from a difference angle now. I don't know if this is change of perception or growing up, all I know is that life seems easier . Expectations which were not met could have become disappointments, but they became experience instead, failed friendships became lessons. Loss now means learning, and a lot of other words have been redefined in my dictionary.
This change is a result of bottled up emotions that I had held on for so long, and now when it has exploded I am glad is has happened the way I wanted it to.The change was anticipated long ago, but the magnitude was unknown. I am glad that I am a wiser person now. For I believe, that "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you had expected."

Monday, 19 August 2013


I am so sorry I couldn't complete the ten day challenge. I can get REALLY lazy at times and didn't feel like writing *sheepishly hides in the corner*

Well the thing is, my studies are in full swing and I have no time to spare for my blog baby. However, I will be back soon with some interesting posts! Till then, here is something to ponder about

Monday, 12 August 2013

Eight fears...

I fear

1. Fear itself. There is no fear greater than fear itself. I fear that my fear might confine myself to my comfort zone and restrict my growth.

2.Being judged or being misjudged. That is my biggest fear.

3.Being cheated by somebody.

4. Dogs and lizards.( Like any other 'normal' girl in the world)

5. Death of someone close.

6. Losing a close friend.

7. Change.

8. My mother and my principal :p

Sunday, 11 August 2013

9 loves!

1. When talking about loves, chocolate is the first thing that come to my mind :D Ask my mother how much I love chocolate, and she can write an essay on it!

2. I absolutely love reading books (thriller,romantic,mystery,psychology,motivational). I could spend all the money I have on books, and not feel guilty about it. I have a drawer in my home filled with books which i have purchased from the money squirreled out from my pocket money over the years.

3. My blog is my baby :D It has been around two years now, and definitely comes in the list of things I love.

4. I have probably mentioned this more than 100 times now, and the domain name also speaks for itself. Purple has been my favorite color since quiet some time now, and this is one thing that would not change even as the years roll by!

5. I am a girl who has grown up in Delhi, but matured in Mumbai. My life revolves around these two cities and I owe my sense of identity to the remarkable experiences I have had in both the cities.

6. I am totally the 'live to eat' person. I can splurge all I have on food and not feel bad about it :D A self confessed glutton, food definitely is one of my 9 loves.

7. I am the kind of girl who can bond with people, but doesn't make friends easily. Over the years, I had the pleasure and privilege of knowing some wonderful people who have always stayed by my side and never ever made me feel lonely. I don't have to mention their names, they know who they are :)

8. When I talk about my loves, how can I ever miss my little sister? She is a bundle of joy and has been my partner in crime since 11 years now!

9. Last but not the least, I would like to mention my family. They have been a constant source of encouragement throughout and it is because of them I have evolved as a person.

Saturday, 10 August 2013

10 day challenge

Came across the 10 day challenge on someones blog and I really liked it! :D
Ten secrets on the first day! Damn :/ Being a secretive person this is gonna be hard. But well here it goes :D

1. I don't cry very easily, but when I do I keep on crying for hours and hours :p Also, I like to look at my reflection while crying cause I look red and swollen like a tomato :p

2. I absolutely HATE brushing my teeth before going to sleep. I try to skip it when I can, but that is rare cause my mom pushes me to the bathroom even when I' half asleep :/

3. I have a really really weird crush history :p One was 2 years junior, the other was 2 inches shorter :p

4. When I am lying, it reflects on my face. I am very very expressive. Usually when I lie, I stammer.

5. Once in second standard I had pulled a guy's pants down because he was making fun of me :p

6. I have a unique way of getting secrets out of people (Wink wink)

7. I once went to the market with my shirt worn in the wrong way. It was only when I came back my mom told me about my big blunder -_-.

8. I have a major thing for brown eyes and dimples.

9. If there is one person in this world, who can make me cry when she cries, it is my sister.

10.  I don't like 90 out of the hundred people I meet.

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Random rants

Guftgu un se roz hoti hai
Muddaton samna nahin hota

Jee bahut chaahta hay sach bolen
Kya karen hausla nahin hota

Kuchh to majbooriyan rahi hongi
Yun koi bewafa nahin hota

-Mirza Ghalib

Friday, 2 August 2013

List of things you should do while you are still in school

I was digging a blissful state of nostalgia today, a song on the television today brought back a million memories, the highs of pure joy and a chain of thoughts brought me here. As I scan through memories of my nomadic school life, I present a list of things one should do when your still in school.

1. Ring the fire alarm and slip away as quickly as possible
This one was done by a friend in 9th grade, who out of curiosity rung the fire alarm when she was with me. Soon the entire school had assembled in the school ground :p including students who were giving their exams :D
(Warning: Avoid if your schools have cameras, you might land yourself into soup :p)

2.Go to a trip in a different city, or a water park
Before 10th grade, I had never ever been on a trip or even a proper picnic with my friends. I had the pleasure and privilege of being a student of army school and going to one of India's best water park :D The water slides, wave pools and bus ride make me make my toes curl, even today!

3.Learn to ride or navigate a vehicle
When both my cousins had perfected their driving skills on their scooties, I had a valid reason to persuade my dad to get me one. Even with multiple scratches both on my scooty and my body, I have no regrets as I was able to strike off one item on my wishlist, driving scooty on Marine drive!

4. Make prank calls!
I am sure everybody must have done this once in their lifetime. Fun doubles when your friends are your partners in crime. One prank call a few years ago, landed me into trouble :p So I stay away from this practice now!

5. Perform
Being a shy and underconfident girl in my initial years of school life, I missed this opportunity, But later when it knocked at my door I grabbed it and chased away my fears for the years to come! A bharatnatyam performace as the main lead, was an experience I will never ever forget.

Please be free to add more items to this list. There are some things which cannot be posted on this blog has it has no viewers discretion :p 

Saturday, 6 July 2013


 Take yourself to 18th June 2008--basically, rewind your life,  five years back and answer these questions:
  1. What were you doing ?  
  1. Who were your closest friends? Are they still in your life with the same closeness?
  1. Where were you living?
  1. Were you more satisfied and content then than you are now? Why or why not?

1. On 18th June 2008 I was in Faridabad in class 7, enjoying my summer vacations.

2. My closest friends were Mrinalini, Priyanka, Jasnoor and Aditi. I have completely lost touch with all of them.

3. I was living in Faridabad.

4.I really can't say. I can't rank my content. Life was way different than it is now, but I have a broader Horizon now.

Friday, 21 June 2013

Lost Nightingale

She left her home for a new abode,
wanted to taste freedom in the new city
Abandoned the forest for a big town
The nightingale young and free

The city life grew upon her
It had things the forest did lack
The new place accepted her with open arms
And now there was no looking back

Slowly as time flew by
loneliness started creeping in
On the surface, life seemed just perfect
But she was miserable deep within

When the city life lost its charm
She felt she was depressed and alone
She wanted to return to where she belonged
But now she had lost her way home

She lost her voice, lost her speech
Her songs drowned in the noise of the city
Her wings entangles in invisible wires
She felt trapped in a cage, overcome by misery

I did make some mistakes, have a few regrets
I did fall hard, but did never fail
I mourn the loss of my identity
I search for the lost nightingale.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Before Dawn

This is a poem very close to my heart. Might not be one of my best works, but this is something that came to me spontaneously. I am not writing my interpretation of the poem cause different people can have different interpretations of it. Write your interpretation below :)

The sky fades to black,
Darkness sets in.
Soul drained of hope,
No possibility of a win.

In the world of lost chances,
Content in just an illusion.
As I fall deeper down the bottomless pit,
I look for an escape route, not a solution.

Rising tides and falling hopes,
Give birth to a thousand fears.
The dawn would break, the world would know,
Our story might just end here.

I fight the fears and take a chance,
Not caring about what might happen.
Let's escape into another world
Before the dawn begins.


Wednesday, 12 June 2013

The moment you stop making mistakes, is the moment you stop learning

Scared and under prepared, my knees quivered as I walked onto the stage for a debate competition selection. I stood on the stage, my heart thumping a thousand beats a second. Before I had begun speaking, my leg got entangled in a wire of the mike and I fell with a resounding thud. Though the auditorium was not too crowded cause I had chosen to go last, the people who were present got a good view of my knickers.
This is one day I am voluntarily trying to delete from my memory. But haven't succeeded in doing so even today :p

Looking back, I realize how stupid and naive I was at that time. If the same incident would have happened to me today, I would have got up, brushed myself and started off with my debate. Two years down the lane, I was a starry eyed girl who would view the world with her rose tinted glasses. I lived in my own world where there was no place for any sort of negativity. I was looking at the world from a keyhole. But in these past two years, I believe the full door has been thrown open. I am getting a better view of things. My horizon has expanded. Life has got a different meaning. I have grown up in so many ways that the people who knew me two years ago say its hard to recognize me now! And I have this feeling that this change will remain constant for a lifetime now :)

And I believe that if it wasn't for the mistakes I had made, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. In the past two years, I made every mistake I could. Some were genuine mistakes any teenage lass could commit while the others were intentional, Committed with full consciousnes.But every mistake made me a wiser person. Every mistake gave me a story to tell to others.The potpourri of experiences and mistakes add a critical flavour to life.  Looking back in life, I don't regret anything. Because the moment you stop making mistakes, is the moment you stop learning

Sunday, 2 June 2013

I wonder how we do this

I wonder how we do this. Pretend that everything is okay on the surface but deep inside, it hurts. The pain still lingers on, even after time has passed and things have changed. We never discuss it, but it is still a part of us. We work together, talk, play and act like everything is okay.
What we don't realize is that keeping things good on the surface isn't good enough. A lava too appears calm, before it explodes.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Yes, I have a stone heart

When someone first told me that I have a stone heart, I felt like throwing a brick right at his/her face. When you do so much for a person, you at least expect a little appreciation in return. It is human nature. But then when you get blamed for that one mistake you made, or that one sin you committed ,knowingly or unknowingly a part of you dies. Permanently.
So when that one person whom I trusted more than anybody else, blamed me for that one mistake of mine, I felt the world around me coming to a grinding halt. I had a world of chances for that person but I wasn't even given one chance to improve upon. The truth was yet blurry but the lies were getting clearer. It was a moment of deep realization, retrospect. And at that very moment, I decided to change myself. Change myself for good. Stop feeling any deep emotion so that I don't fall apart when something of this sort happens again. I was so close to becoming a sadist. And this change not only had adverse affects on me, but also on the people around me.
So go ahead, tell me that i am mean, manipulative or maybe that I have a stone heart. But it is because of the stones you threw at me that I have developed a stone heart.

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Lost Faith

I knew things change with time, I knew people you know become people you knew and promises lose their meaning. But little did I know that things can change so much in a short span of 2 months.
It has been precisely 2 months since I left Mumbai and my life has totally changed. I knew this had to happen. Being from a defense background, I am not new to this shifting procedure. But this time maybe it happened a little to early and on a scale larger then usual. I knew there are no permanent friends and enemies and my so called 'friends' will stop answering my calls some day. But it has just been 2 months and I have started getting cold vibes from them. Earlier, I could here my Blackberry 'ping' in every ten minutes with random texts. Now, my phone remains untouched till the battery completely drains out. The girl who never returned home till 9:30 in the night doesn't feel like stepping out of the house anymore. I really want to talk to someone, but nobody seems to care. Pangs of longing are killing me. Every minute, every second and sadly, there is nothing I can do about it.
 So here I am, sitting on my computer table and drinking milkshake, trying to make the most of the last summer vacations of my life and waiting for that one person to call me and restore my faith in friendship.

Wednesday, 22 May 2013


Our true feelings for a person only come out when it is time to say goodbye.

In my own little world

It's 12:40 am and I am hovering through my Facebook news feed. A lot of people are online, some known and some not so known. Yet I don't feel like striking a conversation with anyone.

Has it ever happened to you that suddenly you feel like detaching yourself from everybody? You want to run away from everything and find peace in your own little world. You don't want 1000 friends on face book who will like your photos, but that one friend who will like you for who you are. You crave for acceptance and love. Maybe I'm going through the same phase. In my early teenage years, I always had an urge to expand my circle of friends. I prided myself on having 300 plus friends on social networking sites when I was thirteen. I would proudly say that I have friends from all parts of India. I would stay in touch with everybody and make new friends every time I could. Well, that was three years ago,when I was on the brink of teenage.

Things have changed a lot since then. I don't feel like adding more people in my friend list now. Both in and outside face book. I want to nurture my friendship with my little group of friends who like me for who I am and have accepted me that way. The rest of the world doesn't matter anymore. The past 2 years have been the most defining years of my life. In the process of growing up, I have learnt to love myself. I no longer hate myself for my clumsiness or foot in mouth attitude. I have accepted myself with my little flaws and I expect the same attitude from the people close to me. My circle of friends has contracted, but I'm closer to my true friends now. The emotional turmoil has ended and I feel much better now. The more time you spend with the people who love you, the more you start loving yourself. It is now I have understood the meaning of this phase, and well I am living it :)

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

You can hide your pain from the rest of the world
Conceal your suffering with a smile
All day long you can fake to the world
But it does hurt deep inside

Because everything isn't fictional :)

Friday, 26 April 2013


This is for a friend of mine who has been through a lot in this year. I just want to tell her that no matter what, don't lose hope and never be scared to fall for someone once again. 

Falling in love is fabulous,
Falling in love after being hurt so bad, is fearless :)

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Took this pic from my 2 mp blackberry camera on my last day in Mumbai sitting on Marine drive. 

Monday, 22 April 2013

A quatrain

Stop fooling me like a three year old

To this Big bad world I'm not new.

I know all the games you play,

Because I play them too.

Sunday, 21 April 2013

I'm that girl

When I'm deliriously happy, I randomly start to sing.

The one who looks at all her pretty friends and feels inadequate.

I'm that girl who looks at the mirror trying to find something worth being happy about,
who silently cries, breaks down when you shout.

I'm that girl who won't question your intentions,
who'll keep trusting you, unaware that you were in only for fun.

I'm that girl who may build opinions pretty fast,  but I never hesitate to change them.

I'm that girl, awkward, sitting alone,
The one, while you all are already interacting,  is staring blankly at her phone.

 I'm that girl who really wants to tell you how she feels,
Who is scared those feelings may somehow hurt you, so she keeps her lips sealed.

I'm that girl who listens to songs and writes down stuff to avoid goin crazy,
Who maintains a diary, doesn't want those good memories to turn hazy.

I'm that girl who gets goosebumps, smiles and cries her heart out listen to a T.Swift song,
Because her songs say what I'd want to say,
In the best possible way.

I'm all this. And much much, much more!! Sometimes a bore. Even an eye-sore.
I'm that girl.

Took this poem from Blahblaholics blog. not written by me, but perfectly describes me :)

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

The 'why' chromosome

My recent shift from Mumbai to the capital city wouldn't have been a pain if I would have been guaranteed the same amount of freedom I enjoyed in Mumbai. My mom made it very clear in the beginning that the evening parties and the frequent trips with friends will have to come to an end considering my most crucial year in school and yes, safety reasons.
Ask any Delhi girl, of any shape, size,weight,age and she would have faced an assault of some kind of the other. The visual assault begins as soon as you step out of your house. Men stare unabashedly at your legs and then their view shifts upwards sneering intently.Cast an angry look, and they shift their gaze like a reflex action. And then they start humming songs and tunes like they never saw you.Seriously, what's wrong with Delhi men?
We Delhi girls are trained to deal with men right since puberty hits us, or maybe even earlier. Because here, nobody helps us when we get stuck in such situations. We help ourselves.I remember a particular incident when I was travelling in a bus with my grandmother and a guy who was shamelessly leaning on a girl got slapped by her. Rest of the people in the bus were just mute spectators to the shamelessness of the man. Use public transport in Delhi only if you want to get groped by the public. Sad, but true. Further, no guy will offer you a seat in Metro or Buses. They will keep sitting there as if it is their birthright and when asked to get up from the seat allocated to ladies they will look at you in a queer manner and inevitably get up from their seat. The mere look on their face will force you think that it's better to stand in a bus packed with people rather than getting cold and dirty looks. We are a subject to scrutiny from the drivers of taxis to the salesmen at malls. They would stick around us like sticky toffee in our teeth which sticks to the crevices. "What size madam?" "This will look good on you, please try!". The tone of their voice indicates that this is not to promote sales, but a result of rising testosterone levels. Hurl an abuse or two and then the dangers of becoming a victim of acid attack will linger on for a long time.
A statement I read somewhere which I denied initially but suddenly makes sense "A woman can travel from North to anywhere in the country but cannot travel from anywhere to the North." My recent relocation to Delhi has made me pay more attention to the above statement. Though sexual abuses, eve teasing and rapes happen all over India, Delhi breaks all records. Women aren't safe here. They are subject to sheer disregard and abuse, both inside and outside the womb.

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Alice in wonderland.....and back

The collective sound of footsteps in the corridor, teachers yelling in the class, students screaming at the top of their voice echoed in my ears. I was back to where I belonged but it was a mixed feeling.A feeling of nostalgia mixed with despair. Nothing had changed much on the surface, but underneath it didn't feel the old self again. I could spot familiar faces in the crowd and the smell of canteen food was unchanged, but I could not connect with it like I could earlier do. I felt that I had been in a wonderland for two years, and now was pushed back into the real world. The world to which I belonged to...

Sunday, 31 March 2013

It hurts

Stop making me feel guilty now,
Making me feel like I've committed a sin.
It doesn't affect me on the surface much,
But it does hurt deep within....

Tuesday, 12 March 2013


YAY!! I won an award :D  

This is my second award on blogger and m super thrilled
It is said that Liebster blog award is started in Germany and is used to highlight budding blogs or rather another way to acknowledge that they have done a good job. This is awarded to upcoming bloggers by fellow bloggers. It’s for blogs with 200 or less followers and so is a way to spread a word about budding blogs and get them more readers.
Now its my time and here you go :

When you receive the award you must post 11 random facts about yourself.
Then you should answer 11 questions that the nominator has set for you.
Now it’s your turn to pass the award to 11 other deserving bloggers, linking them in your post and   ask them 11 questions.     
You are not allowed to nominate back the blog(s) who nominated you.
Visit their page and inform them about their nomination too.

11 things about me

1. I am absolutely in love with the colour purple! I think have of the world knows that by now :p well the domain name says it all!
2. I detest mangoes. No matter what, I won't eat them.
4. I love reading books because I love to step into other's shoes.
5. I haven't yet read Twilight/ Harry Potter or any other fantasy fiction. It bores me
6. My biggest fear is the fear of being mis-judged.
7. I have a certain affinity towards rain and sunsets scare me.
8. I wrote my first poem in class 3, it was about my sister.
9. I love experimenting with new restaurants.
10. I am a vegetarian :p and can't even stand the smell of non-veg.
11. I believe that a girl's beauty lies in her eyes.

And now through the questions...!!!

1. For you a perfect day means?
For me a perfect day is when I wake up around 7, read a really good book, watch roadies rerun and go out with my family in the evening for movie and dinner :)

2. Imagine you are writing a book, what will be the subject of your book?
At core my book will be a love story, but it will also deal with issues of growing up and self discovery

3.The best thing you did in your life?
Who am I to judge? :)

4.Something which you feel proud when you think of yourself?
I'm extremely proud of my military heritage and nomadic upbringing :D

5.Your favorite author and book?
Favorite book-Life is what you make it
Author- Vikram seth, Chetan Bhagat, Preeti Shenoy

6.What is the meaning of your name?
My name means anklet  :)

7.That moment you want to relive?
When I won my first inter school award :)

8. If you had to describe your current feeling with a song, which song would you chose?

Rockstar- Miley Cyrus

9. The best gift you received till date?

I cherish all the handmade gifts and card I have ever received :)

10. Something which you learnt recently

Confidence is the key.

11. If you were born again, who would you want to be?

My maths teacher :p kidding, I'd like to be reborn as myself cause I believe I'm very blessed :)

And now my questions!

1. What is your favorite color and why?
2. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?
3. Your biggest regret.
4. If you had 1 million dollars in your bank for a day, what would you splurge on?
5.Describe your dream date
6. One person with whom you wish you would have spent more time and why?
7. If you have just a week to live, what would you do?
8. What is the best compliment you have ever received?
9. One achievement you are proud of?
10. If you could go back in time, which historical event would you change?
11.  One person you are never gonna forget?

And the winners are!!!!

1. Antara Chakravorty
2. Alamelu Iyer
3. Shubhang Kumar
4. Ankit Rana

Congratulations :) and keep smiling

Saturday, 9 March 2013

Relocation in process

Because apart from death and taxes, change is the only thing that is certain...


As I look into the rear view mirror, I realize that I have changed a lot since the last year. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and demolished my self erected boundaries which were created to identify myself, the real me.There was a phase in my life when I felt that I had completely lost my identity. But after 3 years of introspection I'm clear of who I am and my goals. I have managed to create my own individual identity. A good student, a poet, a deep thinker, a blogger. This is how the outside world identifies me but among all these tags how many know the real me? Can i extend their vision beyond these tags?
Let's admit it, we love being tagged. The kind of tags given to us by people we encounter in our daily life. An understanding friend, a good poet, a doting daughter. We associate ourselves with these tags so much, that in this process we feel our own identity fading away. Hardly anybody knows the emotional baggage the good poet carries, the true emotions of a daughter or the broken heart of am understanding friend. In retrospect I realize  that I HAD to lose myself in order to find myself, I had to fall to rise again.  I am changing everyday. I discover something about myself everyday which is beyond the tags I have been given by the world. I am creating my own identity which doesn't fit into someone's 'stature'. My past has sculpted my present, and my present is sculpting my future.
Don't just associate yourself with the tags the world gives you, discover things about you. Trust me, it's a wonderful journey :) jump in the wagon and enlighten the trip :)

Sunday, 3 March 2013


Problems in any kind of relationship are like the rain. They can either destroy everything, or make the relationship stronger. Rain also plays a dual role. Here I draw a parallelism between rain and problems in relationships.

The sky thunders loud as the clouds approach
the heavens cry I can feel the rain
Teardrops settle on my skin
Insecurities creep in and I feel pain.

As dark clouds of doubt overshadow the sun
I feel cheated of a childhood dream
In the bludgeoning of chances fear leaps in
All I can do is shout and scream

Rain disturbs the placid lake
Devoid of movement and action
Our love was devoid of emotions or concern
Survived by white lies and passion

The dew drops as fragile as relationships
Trickle down the petals as they open
There is still some love that is left,
There are still some promises unbroken 

(strictly fictional)

Thursday, 21 February 2013


Sitting here in the meadows of contentment
Faith has overshadowed the dark clouds of doubt
My flame of hope sways merrily with the wind
I want to rejoice and shout.

I went on an exile from from own soul
Now I've returned to being the old me
I feel like swaying away with the wind
I feel new,I feel free


The Sun sets after lighting the world

and the moon takes its place.

But the void that is there in my life after you went

Is still an empty space


I feel like a stranger in your presence now
I search for your smile and playful stares
I sense the discomfort in your voice
And the anguish in your cold glares

My mind gets in the flashback mode
I reminiscence the memories of you and me
My heart cries as I remember our past
I feel bound by lashes even when free

With time we simply grew apart
Neither had an argument nor a fight
All I need now is an explanation
How I am wrong and you are right?

You say somethings aren't meant to be
Somethings don't just stay
Why don't you gather courage and tell me
That you have chosen the other way?

Walk away if you want to go
Ill build myself strong and new
But as you embark on your new journey
Take your memories with you.

Friday, 8 February 2013

Morning person

It's 6 am now and I'm on my blog. The world around me is quiet and dark, just as I want it to be. Not my perfect morning, but definitely one which allows me to think peacefully.My description of a perfect morning is painted intricately on the canvass of my mind. A beach house surrounded by palm trees and gentle breeze blowing, which stirs me awake and my senses arouse soon after. Distinct melodious sounds blend to conceive a soothing music which hits my eardrums softly. Welcome to my paradise!

However, I live in a metro city. My description of a perfect morning is too far from the reality.The chirping of birds is mercilessly drowned by the cacophony my phone alarm and the honking of cars around seven makes it really difficult to enjoy the beauty of sunrise. I definitely like early mornings, but the quiet peaceful ones!

I am a morning person primarily because the ease and silence of mornings make me think clearly. The idea that the world is drenched and I feel miles away from the world gives me a pleasant feeling.
However before I can let the stream of my thoughts flow and organize them, the world arouses from its deep slumber and life begins.


Solitude has began to fascinate me. The idea of isolating yourself from the world, the world which  is full of verbal assaults and negativity one cannot evade. It all boils down to satisfaction. Something which being surrounded by hundreds of faces doesn't give you, something which every human being subconsciously craves for despite deliriously loving attention. Solitude is bliss, solitude is when the thoughts of nothingness hit the shore of your mind and take away the negativity, the feeling of dissatisfaction.
Being alone is soothing, but loneliness kills.

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Four lefts from the center - III

I started liking Mumbai more as days passed by. I first tasted freedom in this city, where my deadline was extended by two hours and I was allowed to travel to greater distances, alone. I can never forget the day I traveled alone in a bus for the first time. I was beaming with pride and joy and the tickets are safe with me till today :)

I made more friends. I couldn't really call some of them friends, but they were a great company I must admit. I explored the entire South Mumbai with them something which was a distant dream in Delhi.
I rarely stayed back at home in the evenings. Every evening I would go out with some friend or the other and return late. My dull and plain life in Delhi, had suddenly become more happening!
But I didn't realize that with the change in my surroundings, I had also changed to a great extent. I was no longer the introvert girl who was absorbed in her studies. I had becoming more outgoing and my thoughts and views had become more open. Mumbai had expanded my horizon, It had made me more confident. I can definitely say, that staying in Mumbai, has been a defining point in my life.

I had the time of my life in Mumbai. Meeting friends everyday, going on dinner parties on weekends, coming home from a birthday at 11 in the night, riding my scooty on Marine drive, were some experiences I will never forget!

But little did I know, that in the long run this change can have negative effects. As the new and more confident version had taken over, I felt my old identity fading away. I was more concerned about others opinions about me and felt that I too had become a part of the masquerade, something which wasn't uncommon in this city.

Life is full of bittersweet moments, which take you to the highs of pure joy and plunge you into heart wrenching sadness soon after. There are moments in life when you go with the flow, but later want to stop, reflect and go back in the opposite direction. I was in a similar phase.

Sunday, 3 February 2013

Four lefts from the Centre - II

Mumbai was very different from what I had expected. The roads were cleaner (at least in my area!) and the people were friendlier. However, I still was a Delhi girl at heart. I had not accepted the place fully . A part of me still wanted to go back to Delhi though nothing was wrong with Mumbai. Every morning I would wake up, and the sounds of birds tweeting was mercilessly drowned by the honking cars. I missed everything about Delhi. The food, the culture, the clothes. People were far too well dressed in Mumbai. I had to give away all my lose fitting kurtis and harram pants to fit in the crowd. Primarily, the reason for my mixed feelings about Mumbai were that I had not made friends here. Mumbai has everything to offer only if you have a good company, and probably that was what I was missing.

Gradually, I did make friends and that too good ones. But they were different from the ones I had in Delhi. They wore brands I had never heard of and listened to music that was different from what I listened to. Yet, they were very welcoming. When the monsoon had dawned over Mumbai, we would go to the Sea side and spend hours splashing in the mud pools and playing in the water. There was a very good defense club in the vicinity where we would all meet in the evening. Unlike in Delhi, where we would meet only in the weekends.

The United services club, our hangout joint

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Four lefts from the Center - I

It has been almost two years since I came to this city, The city of dreams as they call it. Leaving behind a school that gave me everything and a group of friends and moving to an entirely new city and starting everything from a scratch, isn't a very pleasing experience. So when I was informed that we are shifting, I felt the world around me coming to a grinding halt.
"I don't want to go! I'm happy here." I said adamantly to my parents with a nonchalant shrug though aware of the fact that there was little they could do about it. Coming from a Defense background, mobility is a way of life. But living in the capital city of Delhi for four long years, special ties had developed with the city. So when I came to know that we were moving again, the news took a little time to sink in.

My parents told me about the good things about Mumbai. "It's safer than Delhi, you will be allowed to travel alone!" My mother said convincingly. They talked about Mumbai and Film stars day in and day out to cheer me up. Over a period of a month or two, I accepted the fact that I had to leave.Departures are never easy. I assured my friends that we will plan a reunion in near future and wiped my tears. Bags were packed, good byes were exchanged and I left for a new city.

As soon as I stepped out of the Mumbai airport, I was greeted by a warm gust of air. Beads of sweat appeared on my forehead. As we drove from Andheri, all I could see around me were skyscrapers, pollution and lots of traffic. I suddenly missed the wide roads of Delhi and the lesser traffic. I immediately signaled my mind to stop thinking about Delhi. I was in a new city, and had to survive in it for two years without missing Delhi. That was the challenge.
However, my thoughts changed as we entered South Mumbai. The Sea Link looked beautiful at night. I had never seen such a beautiful sight in my entire life.I was in total awe of the night scene painted in front of me. As we rode through Bandra, our Driver exclamied "This is Mannat, Shahrukh Khan's bunglow, And this is where Salman Khan lives. I realised, that I had slowly started liking the city. I saw Antilla, Marine Drive and many other fascinating places before coming to our destination, The Colaba defence station.