Pretensions

While randomly pressing buttons on my remote I came across a  TV show that was pretty different from daily soaps. It made my cheekbones hurt at a few places and also moistened my eyes. Rather, It shifted me to a transistory phrase.
I was peacefully enjoying it untill she said something which disturbed my grey cells."Sometimes while pretendeing to be someone else, we actually become it." were the words to be precise. I find the situation quite similar to mine. I pretend and lie about almost everything but didn't know that when you lie about yourself, you become a part of it.
I realized that sometimes we pretend so hard not to pretend that we almost make ourselves believe that we are not in fact pretending...

So, here I bare my heart and share my deepest and darkest secrets.
(Psssttt. no leaking!)

• I pretend that I like punk music. Actually i don't. Forget about liking, I cannot stand it. When I tried hearing it, my eardrums were at the verge of bursting.
• I pretend that I hate dance. Even thogh I am not good at it (I almost dropped my partner while doing salsa). I enjoy watching it. I love to shake a leg whenever I get the opportunity.
• I pretend to be a goth/emo and sometimes dress like one too( to the horror of my mother). But I think it looks totally pathetic.
• I pretend that I like branded/designer. Even though I own quite a few, I think street shopping is the best and quite a bargain!
• I pretend being dumb and stupid. While in reality I'm quite serious.
• I pretend that I have hundreds of friends. But in reality, I am a girl who no one even wants to talk to.
• I pretend that I don' believe in love anymore. But I know It exists.
• I pretend that I hate pink but in reality I don't think its bad at all! (ps. light shades ONLY)

 8 already? Could write a book on it if mom wouldn't have been shouting to go to bed. But I realize that all these days I was lying not only to others, but myself too.