homecoming

Sitting here in the meadows of contentment
Faith has overshadowed the dark clouds of doubt
My flame of hope sways merrily with the wind
I want to rejoice and shout.

I went on an exile from from own soul
Now I've returned to being the old me
I feel like swaying away with the wind
I feel new,I feel free

Emptiness..

The Sun sets after lighting the world

and the moon takes its place.

But the void that is there in my life after you went

Is still an empty space

Disconnect

I feel like a stranger in your presence now
I search for your smile and playful stares
I sense the discomfort in your voice
And the anguish in your cold glares

My mind gets in the flashback mode
I reminiscence the memories of you and me
My heart cries as I remember our past
I feel bound by lashes even when free

With time we simply grew apart
Neither had an argument nor a fight
All I need now is an explanation
How I am wrong and you are right?

You say somethings aren't meant to be
Somethings don't just stay
Why don't you gather courage and tell me
That you have chosen the other way?

Walk away if you want to go
Ill build myself strong and new
But as you embark on your new journey
Take your memories with you.

Morning person

It's 6 am now and I'm on my blog. The world around me is quiet and dark, just as I want it to be. Not my perfect morning, but definitely one which allows me to think peacefully.My description of a perfect morning is painted intricately on the canvass of my mind. A beach house surrounded by palm trees and gentle breeze blowing, which stirs me awake and my senses arouse soon after. Distinct melodious sounds blend to conceive a soothing music which hits my eardrums softly. Welcome to my paradise!

However, I live in a metro city. My description of a perfect morning is too far from the reality.The chirping of birds is mercilessly drowned by the cacophony my phone alarm and the honking of cars around seven makes it really difficult to enjoy the beauty of sunrise. I definitely like early mornings, but the quiet peaceful ones!

I am a morning person primarily because the ease and silence of mornings make me think clearly. The idea that the world is drenched and I feel miles away from the world gives me a pleasant feeling.
However before I can let the stream of my thoughts flow and organize them, the world arouses from its deep slumber and life begins.

Solitude

Solitude has began to fascinate me. The idea of isolating yourself from the world, the world which  is full of verbal assaults and negativity one cannot evade. It all boils down to satisfaction. Something which being surrounded by hundreds of faces doesn't give you, something which every human being subconsciously craves for despite deliriously loving attention. Solitude is bliss, solitude is when the thoughts of nothingness hit the shore of your mind and take away the negativity, the feeling of dissatisfaction.
Being alone is soothing, but loneliness kills.

Four lefts from the center - III

I started liking Mumbai more as days passed by. I first tasted freedom in this city, where my deadline was extended by two hours and I was allowed to travel to greater distances, alone. I can never forget the day I traveled alone in a bus for the first time. I was beaming with pride and joy and the tickets are safe with me till today :)

I made more friends. I couldn't really call some of them friends, but they were a great company I must admit. I explored the entire South Mumbai with them something which was a distant dream in Delhi.
I rarely stayed back at home in the evenings. Every evening I would go out with some friend or the other and return late. My dull and plain life in Delhi, had suddenly become more happening!
But I didn't realize that with the change in my surroundings, I had also changed to a great extent. I was no longer the introvert girl who was absorbed in her studies. I had becoming more outgoing and my thoughts and views had become more open. Mumbai had expanded my horizon, It had made me more confident. I can definitely say, that staying in Mumbai, has been a defining point in my life.

I had the time of my life in Mumbai. Meeting friends everyday, going on dinner parties on weekends, coming home from a birthday at 11 in the night, riding my scooty on Marine drive, were some experiences I will never forget!

But little did I know, that in the long run this change can have negative effects. As the new and more confident version had taken over, I felt my old identity fading away. I was more concerned about others opinions about me and felt that I too had become a part of the masquerade, something which wasn't uncommon in this city.

Life is full of bittersweet moments, which take you to the highs of pure joy and plunge you into heart wrenching sadness soon after. There are moments in life when you go with the flow, but later want to stop, reflect and go back in the opposite direction. I was in a similar phase.

Four lefts from the Centre - II

Mumbai was very different from what I had expected. The roads were cleaner (at least in my area!) and the people were friendlier. However, I still was a Delhi girl at heart. I had not accepted the place fully . A part of me still wanted to go back to Delhi though nothing was wrong with Mumbai. Every morning I would wake up, and the sounds of birds tweeting was mercilessly drowned by the honking cars. I missed everything about Delhi. The food, the culture, the clothes. People were far too well dressed in Mumbai. I had to give away all my lose fitting kurtis and harram pants to fit in the crowd. Primarily, the reason for my mixed feelings about Mumbai were that I had not made friends here. Mumbai has everything to offer only if you have a good company, and probably that was what I was missing.

Gradually, I did make friends and that too good ones. But they were different from the ones I had in Delhi. They wore brands I had never heard of and listened to music that was different from what I listened to. Yet, they were very welcoming. When the monsoon had dawned over Mumbai, we would go to the Sea side and spend hours splashing in the mud pools and playing in the water. There was a very good defense club in the vicinity where we would all meet in the evening. Unlike in Delhi, where we would meet only in the weekends.

The United services club, our hangout joint

Four lefts from the Center - I

It has been almost two years since I came to this city, The city of dreams as they call it. Leaving behind a school that gave me everything and a group of friends and moving to an entirely new city and starting everything from a scratch, isn't a very pleasing experience. So when I was informed that we are shifting, I felt the world around me coming to a grinding halt.
"I don't want to go! I'm happy here." I said adamantly to my parents with a nonchalant shrug though aware of the fact that there was little they could do about it. Coming from a Defense background, mobility is a way of life. But living in the capital city of Delhi for four long years, special ties had developed with the city. So when I came to know that we were moving again, the news took a little time to sink in.

My parents told me about the good things about Mumbai. "It's safer than Delhi, you will be allowed to travel alone!" My mother said convincingly. They talked about Mumbai and Film stars day in and day out to cheer me up. Over a period of a month or two, I accepted the fact that I had to leave.Departures are never easy. I assured my friends that we will plan a reunion in near future and wiped my tears. Bags were packed, good byes were exchanged and I left for a new city.

ENTER: MUMBAI
As soon as I stepped out of the Mumbai airport, I was greeted by a warm gust of air. Beads of sweat appeared on my forehead. As we drove from Andheri, all I could see around me were skyscrapers, pollution and lots of traffic. I suddenly missed the wide roads of Delhi and the lesser traffic. I immediately signaled my mind to stop thinking about Delhi. I was in a new city, and had to survive in it for two years without missing Delhi. That was the challenge.
However, my thoughts changed as we entered South Mumbai. The Sea Link looked beautiful at night. I had never seen such a beautiful sight in my entire life.I was in total awe of the night scene painted in front of me. As we rode through Bandra, our Driver exclamied "This is Mannat, Shahrukh Khan's bunglow, And this is where Salman Khan lives. I realised, that I had slowly started liking the city. I saw Antilla, Marine Drive and many other fascinating places before coming to our destination, The Colaba defence station.