A ray of hope

Unable are loved to die

For love is immortality

                                    Emily dickinson

“Promise me you will be there with me forever!”

“I promise.”

These were one of the few promises I made as a child. Promises with which I struggle to cope up with now. And when I had made this promise to my friend, I never knew it would hurt so much.

Not long back ago when I got to know that she had passed away, I was in a state of shock. My eyes became blood red and a lump developed in my throat as my mother narrated the incident. I had never lost a dear person before. Coping with the loss had to be hard, very hard. Especially when It was a promise of lifetime.

I lost her in an accident. She was travelling from a bus which unfortunately crashed into a truck. The sad part was she was the only one who died.

The grief wasn’t easy to overcome. Often I would sit under my comforters for hours sobbing the whole night. Sometimes I would dial her number and realize that she would never pick up the call. I would cry when I laughed at a joke and could not hear another laugh as loud as mine. I would see her picture and cry for hours wanting her to be there with me. My eyes become moist even today as I talk about her. Superlatives can define how grief struck I was, but what evokes terribly was the “Forever factor.”

Yesterday for a change, when I went to the sea-side. My gaze rested upon the sun which after spreading its radiance all around was retreating into isolation. That is when I realized that the sun comes up every day, spreads brightness and sets. But it never goes away. It marks every new day. The same way by friend had gone nowhere. It’s not just that I could not see her anymore nor could hear her laughter. But I could sense her presence. Every time I achieved something I could sense her patting my back, every time I cried, I could sense her wiping my tears.

My friend had gone away, giving me a ray of hope which will help me survive till my last day